Sometimes, especially when I spend too much time with myself, my mind overruns with negative memories. I hear voices from the past: I don’t want to forgive you. I do not accept your apology. I don’t like you. You offended me. I’m going to report you. You need to leave. I don’t care what you think. I have heard all those statements at some point in my ministry journey.
Sometimes I do something wrong. I say something that is misunderstood. I make decisions based on bad information. I make a comment not knowing what someone is facing in their personal life. The wrong is never intentional, but feelings may be hurt and emotions may turn to anger.
Other times I do things exactly right. I am given information and act on it only to find that someone has changed his mind in the meantime. I make decisions that are accurate but unpopular. I point out a bad behavior that needs changing. I disagree with someone. Even though I am right, however, the result can be the same. Feelings may be hurt, and emotions may turn to anger.
Either way, when someone feels wounded, my heart is always sorry and I say so. Regardless of whether I’m right or wrong, apologies are needed. Forgiveness is necessary. Healing is crucial. I’m pretty sure that over the years I have apologized for more things that I have done right than wrong! I’m ok with that. When people hurt, it doesn’t matter who is right. As Christians, we aren’t called to argue who is correct. We are called to love.
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)
My granddaddy (also a pastor) use to say: “If everyone in your church is happy, you aren’t doing your job.” Sometimes I wish my granddaddy were here so I could ask him about that. Pastors are notorious people pleasers. I want harmony. I want peace. Isn’t that my job? I think Granddaddy would answer “no.”
No, my job, as God’s chosen daughter, holy and dearly loved, is to love. Whether I’m in the wrong or in the right, my job is to love. In the moments when I’m looked to for prophetic speaking, offer it with love. During times of great struggle, provide love. When forgiveness is needed, give love. When healing is crucial, deliver love. My job is to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient… and to bind all that together with love. Even when a situation requires that I be unpopular for a time, when it would be so much simpler to kick integrity to the curb, or when someone doesn’t want to love back, my sole responsibility is to love.
During this time of being alone (a lot), I find much comfort in Paul’s letter to the people of Colossae. When those voices from the past come roaring back, I’ll relax a bit and just remember Paul’s counsel… I am called to peace, and I am thankful.
I love you,
Pastor Beth
Sometimes I do something wrong. I say something that is misunderstood. I make decisions based on bad information. I make a comment not knowing what someone is facing in their personal life. The wrong is never intentional, but feelings may be hurt and emotions may turn to anger.
Other times I do things exactly right. I am given information and act on it only to find that someone has changed his mind in the meantime. I make decisions that are accurate but unpopular. I point out a bad behavior that needs changing. I disagree with someone. Even though I am right, however, the result can be the same. Feelings may be hurt, and emotions may turn to anger.
Either way, when someone feels wounded, my heart is always sorry and I say so. Regardless of whether I’m right or wrong, apologies are needed. Forgiveness is necessary. Healing is crucial. I’m pretty sure that over the years I have apologized for more things that I have done right than wrong! I’m ok with that. When people hurt, it doesn’t matter who is right. As Christians, we aren’t called to argue who is correct. We are called to love.
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)
My granddaddy (also a pastor) use to say: “If everyone in your church is happy, you aren’t doing your job.” Sometimes I wish my granddaddy were here so I could ask him about that. Pastors are notorious people pleasers. I want harmony. I want peace. Isn’t that my job? I think Granddaddy would answer “no.”
No, my job, as God’s chosen daughter, holy and dearly loved, is to love. Whether I’m in the wrong or in the right, my job is to love. In the moments when I’m looked to for prophetic speaking, offer it with love. During times of great struggle, provide love. When forgiveness is needed, give love. When healing is crucial, deliver love. My job is to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient… and to bind all that together with love. Even when a situation requires that I be unpopular for a time, when it would be so much simpler to kick integrity to the curb, or when someone doesn’t want to love back, my sole responsibility is to love.
During this time of being alone (a lot), I find much comfort in Paul’s letter to the people of Colossae. When those voices from the past come roaring back, I’ll relax a bit and just remember Paul’s counsel… I am called to peace, and I am thankful.
I love you,
Pastor Beth
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